I suppose I began my blog today because of Bones, and this is Bone's last day on earth. A good part of the day will be spent waiting for the vet and waiting for the guy who will haul his body away.
Bones is 29. Rather elderly for an equine. He's a beautiful animal, as you can see. He still eats well, holds his weight, though this is fading, and will, on occasion frolic in the sun doing one tempis down the arena as only a well balanced, athletic horse can do.
I paid $1000.00 for Bones about 12 years ago, when he was 17, because he was fun to ride and we "clicked" when I first rode him. He had a tendency to be a little hot, and so was a bit frightening for the other more timid riding students. I thought he was fun! He would jump the moon if you let him, was always willing to go at the twitch of your leg on his side and he put up with me learning how to ride again after many years out of a saddle and then graciously gave my then 10 year old daughter her first horseback lessons.
Bones has done a lot of things in his life. He taught a lot of folks how to ride. He's been a polo pony, a jumper, been ridden western and english. Put up with all manner of bad seats and bad hands. He's been the teacher of choice for lessons in manners to recalcitrant,young, pushy horses, has survived an episode of seizures due to a disease called EPM and a plethora of different stables and handlers. He's earned his retirement years.
Bones has his quirks too. He loves his stall but he's hard to catch. He doesn't tie. I could have fixed this, but there was never a big need.
For the past several years he's been my "pasture ornament", because Bones has a big problem; a condition called uveitis, commonly known as moonblindness in the horse world. His immune system constantly attacks his corneas which then ulcerate, rupture and turn into scar tissue. I tried treatment, and then realized that the best I could do was pain management (there are other options but they're VERY expensive and don't work in the long term). This was OK for many years, and though progressively more blind, he's been pretty stable. Lately though, his eyes have taken a turn for the worse. They are irritated and run constantly resulting in a lot of time running into walls and fences as his condition worsens. He is more and more paranoid about being handled and being away from my other horse, which makes him dangerous.
My philosophy with my animals is that I will do my best to care for them and be loyal to them. I will only under the most extreme circumstances give up an animal to another home, and I do my best to keep my animals for life. I also believe that that responsibility means a peaceful, humane death in a place that they know when their lives have become too painful or too distressed to continue.
So, this is the day. The day when I have chosen to end this animal's life. I've thought long and hard about it and though I will cry at his passing I also know that he has lived a long and comfortable life and that before he suffers any more..a suffering that cannot be explained or understood by him, he will lie down peacefully in his own pasture and fall to sleep. As humans, we have an ability to comprehend what is happening to our bodies and to decide on a course of action, that may lead to death. It is an awesome responsibility to make that decision for an animal, let alone another human.
I know that when I think about my own mortality I am able to say that though, hopefully, a ways away from leaving this world, I have been able to experience a very rich and wonderful life to this date..not without it's hardships and heartaches but with an appreciation, certainly, for the lessons learned. I hope too, that when my time on this earth is through, I am able to lie down in my own pasture, surrounded by those I love and fall peacefully to sleep.
Goodbye Bones. You were loved.
Heather
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